Not This Time God, Please


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Her parents parted ways when she was four years old. She had one elder brother and one elder sister. Her father always wanted them to stay with him. But her mother refused. She, Nisha, along with her siblings, came to stay with her maternal uncle.

She always wished to stay with her father. But she was told by her mother that her father was a bad man who left them alone. Nisha did not believe that and just wanted to be with him, just like the other kids.

As the time passed, Nisha felt more alone than ever. Her uncle was married and had kids but he loved all three of them like his own children. She also treated him like a father, but she wanted a father, an actual father.

She always hoped that her father will come one day and will take her away with him. Then, she will be free.

Nisha never cared about bad things she and her siblings went through. Her mother struggled so did Nisha and her brother and sister. She never got a chance to go to school due to poverty. They all worked in fields with their mother for living.

Though, she knew that her mother is working really hard to give them whatever they want, but she just wished that her mother could understand their real needs, LOVE, CARE, AFFECTION, A SOFT TOUCH. She wished that her mother could have felt their real pain. She always wished to be fortunate enough to get love from her mother. But her mother was always busy.

When Nisha was 15, she stopped thinking about her father, who tried so many times to take them with him but failed every time. Her mother did not allow him do that. He gave up, so did Nisha. And after few years, he stopped showing up.

Nisha now seemed quite content, may be not from inside but from outside. She now did not care about things.

Whatever she wished she never got that. There was nothing good happened to her. Now, she was just waiting and hoping that good time will come to her, may be. She could be loved one day. There could be someone who would care for her. There was one thing she loved the most. Music, her only friend. There was no one she could share he feelings with. No one. She used to cry when she was alone.

When she turned 18, her elder sister got married. Her brother in law was a nice man. Soon after, she realized that her sister is happiest than ever.

After a year or two, her brother also got married with a beautiful girl. She was very happy for her brother and sister. They all were settled now. Now, it was her turn to settle down.

She was 23 now. She was growing older and her hope to be loved was also growing with her age. She did not have a boyfriend. So, her mother was looking for a good guy who can marry her.

Nisha again started dreaming but now it was not her father. It was someone else. A completely stranger. She did not how would he look like? How would he treat her? She was excited and afraid at the same time. She was scared what if he does not like her or love her? This time, she was hoping not to get cheated by destiny. She was just hoping to have rest to her life to be peaceful.

She was now 27. It was too late for a girl in a small village like that not to get married. Everyone was like, she is 27 and still no one has agreed to marry her. She is ugly. She is poor. These words were heartbreaking for her. Now, her mother had become more selfish. Nisha’s brother stayed with his wife. There is only Nisha and her mother in the family. Her mother was scared. If Nisha gets married she would go away with her husband and she will be alone. That was the reason, her mother was delaying her marriage.

One day, a person came. He told her that her father is in hospital and has only few hours. He wants to meet her. She cried after so many years. She cried like hell. She wanted to run to her father, but she could not. Her mother didn’t let her go. After few days, she got to know that her father died the very next day. This time she did not cry. She couldn’t. She tried but could not. Days passed.

Then, happiness knocked her door, finally. There was a boy who came to her place one day and asked for her hand in marriage. He was not handsome but sincere. Her mother was not ready, as she wanted so called “handsome” son-in-law. Some relatives forced her mother and asked her to accept him. She did. Nisha was 29 now. She had expectations throughout her life. But now she was scared. This time, she did not expect anything.

She happily married the guy, named Bobby. She first time lived her life. He was so caring and loved her. Finally, she was hopeful. Now, she had no complaints from God or Destiny. She first time felt fortunate. He was everything for her now so she was for him. She was enjoying her life at the fullest. After a year, she was carrying her baby in her womb.

She and Bobby planned everything. She wanted a boy while he wanted a girl. They used to talk all night about their baby. In about a month, she was soon going to be mom.

It was her cousin’s marriage. She did not want to but her aunt forced her to come and attend the marriage. She had to come, along with him. Bobby was so tensed. He was concerned about their child. It was summer and so hot. They wanted to go back to their place.

He could not wait and asked her. She said OK. Thereafter, her brother came and asked them to stay for a while. Bobby was depressed and tensed. He did not want to stay. He again asked her to go. She said stay for a while if they all are requesting. He yelled at her for being so careless about their child and god knows why he did that but he slapped her. For the first time. Nisha’s brother could not see that and he slapped him in his face for insulting her sister in front of everyone.

Bobby felt so bad. He was feeling guilty for slapping her in front of everyone. He could not take it, went back home and committed suicide. Yes, he did.

Again, destiny cheated on Nisha. She was alone again. she did not know what to do. Why it happened? She could not cry. The pain was deep inside. I can’t explain that. Oh God! Why you have always been so cruel to her? Why?

After a month, she gave birth to a baby boy. Then, she cried and cried for months. I watched her crying all the time. Her child was only hope for her. Now, she has completely devoted herself to her child. He is naughty and is the reason of her smile.

He is everything for her and so she is scared, because God snatched everything she loved, always. But not this time, please God, not this time.

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